Anyone have an extra $5000?

For some reason, I’m feeling very stressed moneywise today. Perhaps that is because it’s the day before payday, or because I just glanced through the bills, or thought about the van that we need, or because I’m wondering how we’ll afford extra Christmas stuff, or one of a million other things.

If we had $5000 we could be out of debt (other than the mortgage), we could get all new tires for the vehicles and make a downpayment on a van. Now, I’m just trying to figure out where to come up with that!

I’ve pretty much decided that this year Christmas is going to be even smaller for our family. I know the past couple of years I’ve talked about how I’m so tired of all the junk that is useless and how I don’t like wasting money on it, when I know that people aren’t going to care about it in a few weeks. Our kids will still get gifts and hopefully I’ll have time to make some things for extended family members, but I’m just not buying into the commercialism this year and I’m not wasting the money that we need on “stuff.” Yes, I love my family, but I don’t thinking buying things for them at Christmas shows that, and I’m not sure that I’m very good at showing it ever, but I know that’s not the way and it doesn’t make up for anything and I’m just tired or feeling stressed out about it from October to February. The past couple of years when I’ve said these things, I’ve always caved when the days get closer and bought stuff so I wouldn’t feel guilty and I may end up feeling guilty this year, but I don’t want to add to our debt and hurt my family more because of it.

With all that crazy stuff said, I believe Christmas is about giving and I do love to give. Jesus told us that if we have something to share it with those in need and I will make sure I do that. Unfortunately, I feel like we’re in need some of the time and I get angry at myself when I feel that way, because we really have so much more than so many. Yes, our life is hard financially, and yes, we struggle almsot everyday, but we have a home and clothing and heat and food. Some people don’t have any of that and when I think of that I really dislike all the giving of expensive stuff back and forth. I love expensive stuff, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not what really matters. As we head into the next few months of holidays I’m going to try to remember that and I’m going to try to keep to my plan. Children first, people in need second and hopefully some handmade gifts for my extended family. If you see me going crazy in a store, please remind me to keep it simple and keep to my plan.

Thank you for reading and sorry if I sound a little crazy this morning! Have a great day!

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